Some days, we all just want a fresh start; I know that feeling well. How many of us have looked around and, in an instant, thought, “I want it all to change”? If we’re honest with ourselves, probably most of us.
But what if you actually did it? What if you chose today as the day to start over? You might think, “It’s just Thursday. I’ll start on Monday.” Or maybe you’ll find some other excuse that feels easier to reason with than change itself.
I love the quote that says something like, “Change happens when staying the same hurts enough that we have to, or when something inspires us enough that we want to.”
That sentiment resonates deeply with me. The pain of imagining life staying the same is profound. If I’m honest, I am unhappy, and this truth is something I have to face—not necessarily for the world to see, but for myself. It’s tricky, though, because I’m actually happier now than I’ve been in a long time. Part of me wants to just be grateful, to be content in this state. Yet I am not truly happy. Does this make me ungrateful?
“Happy”—I kind of hate that word. We throw it around so flippantly. We aren’t meant to be happy all the time, and that’s okay. Life isn’t about constant happiness; it’s about creating a life where the inevitable unhappiness is still bearable—a level of acceptance that, admittedly, I haven’t reached yet.
Then there’s inspiration to change. That’s a powerful force. The book Atomic Habits taught me to make my surroundings conducive to growth. For me, that means surrounding myself with people who support, inspire, and challenge me. And I’ve done just that—suddenly, I find myself among some of the most accomplished, driven people I know. It’s hard not to want more when it feels so close, almost within reach. On weekends, I’m already living the life I want. Now it’s time to commit to that life full-time.
Today is my start date. It’s a random Tuesday, a day with no significance beyond this diary entry. I’m taking a leap of faith in myself. How many people can honestly say they’ve done that?
“Because insane amounts of self-belief is the only path to insane outcomes.” – Chris Williamson
Now I have to muster that kind of belief—that everything, all the struggles and the learnings, is leading somewhere worthwhile.
I’m dedicating the next twelve months to my growth. For years, I’ve dreamed of working with a life coach, and today that journey begins. About five years ago, I found myself talking to a celebrity about psychology. I asked him about his climb to fame, about reaching his goals. In the conversation, he suddenly said, “You need to get a life coach.” At the time, I hadn’t even considered it. The cost alone was daunting—how could I justify spending that much on myself? But the thought stuck with me, and it kept resurfacing.
Recently, it all clicked. The cost of a car, legal fees, even therapy I’ve done over the past year—all of that was more than the investment I’m about to make in myself. If I could spend that much on healing, why not invest the same in growth? Now that I’m finally in a place where my body isn’t in fight-or-flight mode, it feels logical to take the next step. So I’m betting on myself. It’s terrifying.
In a strange way, I feel like I owe this to myself. To give myself twelve months to see what I can accomplish with the best support possible is, I think, a gift I’ve long owed myself. I’ve tried so many things, but nothing has brought me the connection, fulfillment, or peace I truly desire.
The thought crosses my mind: What if, in twelve months, it all feels like a waste? But deep down, I know it won’t be. Even if I don’t have a conventional “success” to show for it, the learning alone will be invaluable. And, anyway, who’s to say what success really means? I know it isn’t money—that isn’t what drives me.
So here I am, standing on the edge of this commitment, with no promises of what’s to come, just a quiet belief that every step forward counts. I don’t know where this year will lead me, but I do know that, for once, I’m choosing to truly invest in myself. Maybe it will be transformative, maybe subtle. But I owe it to myself to see this through, and I’m ready to find out.
Looking back, I can see every small choice and every hesitation that has brought me here. And while there’s fear in that, there’s gratitude, too. Because today, I get to choose differently. I get to walk into the unknown, guided not by any guarantee, but by the simple act of choosing myself. For the next twelve months, I’m giving myself the gift of growth, and that’s a commitment I know I won’t regret.
Maybe this journey will change everything, or maybe it’ll just change me. But no matter the outcome, I know I won’t regret the decision to try. Growth has no guarantees, and I won’t pretend otherwise. Yet I’d rather step into the unknown, ready to see where it leads, than stay rooted in the safety of what I already know. So here’s to a year of bold steps, to a journey of learning and self-belief. Here’s to whatever comes next.
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