Can you honestly say that each day you wake up exactly the same? You feel energised, motivated, fuelled and prepared? No, I know I don't. If we are honest with ourselves I would say that is a rarity. But that is what we expect of ourselves. We expect to be robots. How about we stop that? Maybe we start to listen to ourselves more, what our natural body is telling us and use that to our advantage. This post is about becoming better by listening to ourselves and realising it is not alien to want more.
The Normal Life Most Lead
Very early on we are taught life has structure, normally the the form of a 5 day working week. Most of us go to school at 8am and finish at 3pm from the age of 4. This is considered the normal. In that space of time we are expected to be the same, to function the same, to learn the same and take on a rhythmic pattern. A day focused around learning that then when the time comes turns into a day focused around work that we repeat around five days a week. Within that our output expected to be consistent.
Expectation - Definition: "a strong belief that something will happen or be the case". That is the word that holds a huge amount of power. To expect is to presume based of a thought processes of learnt ideas. As a society we are expected of a lot. To break expectation can be quite a contrary situation bringing judgement, shame and overall a negative outlook initially when it comes to output relating to work and many thing in life.
I do not meet expectations. I do not function well with the 9-5 working week. When I tell people this I often get met with a thought of laziness. For years I thought and was told often that I am lazy. The more you are told you are something you can start to believe it. Looking around and seeing everyone else functioning through the expectation of a standard life and realising you aren't coping that way is demoralising. Feels like you are failing. I often felt like I was broken. That there was something missing for me that everyone else was lucky enough to have obtained. For years I have tried and for the use of a better word failed. I do not think I failed in a way that you would expect. In each of the three career paths I went into I gave it my all. Going in enthusiastic, engaged and excited to progress. Before long becoming demoralised, exhausted, stressed and anxious.
What is wrong with me? That is all I could think for a long time. In moments of quiet I would think on each individual situation and wonder how did I go from being so excited and so happy to so quickly coming hopeless and in time depressed. Each situation feeling consuming. The sadness of having to leave something I did enjoy but was not right for me.
The feeling of failure followed me. Looking around at everyone else with their lives together. They got promotions, made progress and I was scared to tell anyone about my latest job. It was easy to tell they were all thinking "well I wonder how long will you stick with this". The judgement in their eyes. The stigma behind not just doing what is considered normal and sticking with it even though my life was in my opinion not worth living was huge.
Not worth living to me didn't mean I wanted to die. Simply that if this is all that life had for me then I did not want a part in it. The cost of these jobs were far too high in comparison to what I was gaining.
Something had to change. That something was me. In that moment I had two options - Give in to failure and live a mediocre life or find what will work for me. There had to be something. In a world of millions of humans there has to be others who struggle.
"We live and if we are lucky we get to learn from it"
Steps To Stepping Away From The Uncomfortable Normal
If you, like me struggle and are still trying to find you niche then here are some ways I found along the way helpful:
Acceptance
Surround yourself with the people who will push and inspire you to be more has always been a key thing I have aimed to do. The ones I look up to and admire are people who have key qualities I could learn from. I have been lucky enough to encounter people at the extreme end of this. Had conversations with millionaires, business owners, entrepreneurs, and other incredible individuals.
A standout factor I noticed in all of these individuals - They accepted themselves. By identifying and acknowledging their weaknesses as well as their strengths, they are able to work around them. I think so many of us are fish who are judged on their ability to fly and wonder why they are feeling so hopeless. Having weaker areas isn't a weakness. Identifying, working around it, and doing what you are good at allows you to grow. But in order to do this, you have to acknowledge and accept the full picture. Identify and own the weaker and the stronger areas. None of us are perfect. Accept it and fight it strategically.
Reflection
In life, the concept of reflection goes beyond merely looking back on past events. It involves a deep introspection into our thoughts, actions, and emotions. Reflecting allows us to gain insights into our experiences, learn from our mistakes, and celebrate our achievements. It is a powerful tool for personal growth and self-improvement.
Life is a journey filled with ups and downs, triumphs and challenges. Each day brings a new set of experiences that shape who we are and who we are becoming. Sometimes we are faced with moments that test our strength and resilience, while other times we are blessed with joy and success. It is through reflection that we can navigate these diverse experiences with grace and wisdom.
Whether we are going through a rough patch or enjoying a period of bliss, taking the time to reflect allows us to appreciate the complexity of life. It helps us to be more mindful, grateful, and compassionate towards ourselves and others. By acknowledging the highs and lows, we can cultivate a sense of balance and harmony in our lives.
Trust
Trusting your intuition and feelings about work and life can be a powerful tool to fuel positive change. It's important to understand that everyone is different, and it's perfectly okay to not fit into the "normal" mould. By trusting yourself and listening to your inner voice, you can make decisions that align with your true self and lead to a more fulfilling life.
Finding self
Spending time reflecting on what truly brings you happiness, fulfilment, and joy is an essential practice in cultivating a meaningful and purposeful life. By taking a closer look at what activities, hobbies, or experiences light up your soul, you can gain valuable insights into your true passions and desires. It's equally important to acknowledge what you enjoy and what you don't, as this self-awareness can guide you towards making choices that align more closely with your authentic self.
Furthermore, recognizing your strengths and talents can empower you to pursue endeavour's that not only bring you joy but also showcase your unique abilities. It's crucial to break free from the misconception that work cannot be enjoyable, pleasant, or rewarding. By embracing the idea that your professional life can be fulfilling and aligned with your personal values, you open yourself up to a world of possibilities where every day feels purposeful and satisfying. Take the time to explore what truly resonates with you, and don't be afraid to prioritize your happiness and well-being in all aspects of your life
Change is not easy and it costs
Change is a challenging process that is not easy to navigate. It requires dedication, determination, and the ability to withstand the misunderstanding of others. Despite the obstacles, the potential benefits can make the effort worthwhile. It's important to remember that the ultimate goal is to improve your life, even if the journey is not easy or pleasant
In a world that expects us to be like robots, the author challenges this norm by advocating for self-awareness and embracing individuality. They share personal struggles of not fitting into the conventional 9-5 work structure and feeling demoralized by societal expectations. The narrative shifts towards self-acceptance, reflection, trusting intuition, and finding genuine happiness. Through examples and insights, the author emphasizes the importance of acknowledging strengths and weaknesses, reflecting on experiences, and pursuing a fulfilling life aligned with personal values. The text encourages readers to embrace change despite its challenges, highlighting the transformative power of self-discovery and authenticity.
It serves as a poignant reminder that true fulfilment lies in breaking free from societal moulds and embracing our unique identities. By embarking on a journey of self-discovery and authenticity, we can pave the way for a more meaningful and satisfying existence. Let us remember that in a world that often demands conformity, our greatest strength lies in embracing who we truly are and living a life that resonates with our innermost selves.
So, why are you fighting to be normal? Do you think you are one the journey you want?
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